The marina walk bike ride – ‘Hell is other people’

Alamy via Reuters

One of the great pleasures of living in Dubai for an elderly man with an often-sedentary lifecycle – bed, laptop, taxi, bar, restaurant, bed – is the opportunity for urban cycling in a safe environment amid spectacular scenery.

I’ve been into biking for the past four years, since I was given a mountain bike for Christmas by my daughter, with the wishes, “Enjoy – you need it, Dad.” I didn’t realise it at the time, but she was dead right. I did need it, and now wonder how I ever lived without it.

Running any distance is an unendurable strain for me, and so undignified – a gentleman never runs, they say; walking any length of time that would prove beneficial health-wise is just utterly boring; swimming is OK and I do that from time to time, but it’s such a rigmarole, even with pools and beach all around.

Cycling, on the other hand, offers me a perfect combination of exertion and time efficiency. It’s so easy to slip down to my nearest “track” – the Marina Walk promenade – and get in a quick hour or so of decent, dedicated exercise.

I realise this does not qualify me as a “serious” cyclist. I have friends who think nothing of knocking off the 50km loop in Al Qudra before breakfast, and taking a couple of turns round the 60km mountain trail in Hatta before Saturday brunch.

There are also bespoke cycling tracks along the Jumeirah Beach Road and in Nad Al Sheba that are great as a treat, but they involve quite a lot of driving and preparation. So Marina Walk is my track of choice for as many evenings as I can manage

From my place at the northern end of Marina, south to the other end where you get stunning views of the Ain Dubai (turning once again, I notice) on Bluewaters, and back, is a convenient 10km that is just about right for me – with some stops for push-ups and stretches on the walk railings along the way.

If I feel energetic, I carry the bike up the stairs that lead to the Marina bridge and carry on down the other side of the water, but it makes little difference to the overall distance. My Apple watch says “exercise ring closed” either way.

Along the way, you get to sample a fair slice of Dubai lifestyle. The 10 kilometres goes past in a blur of waterside restaurants, boats, markets, malls and mosques, with a couple of five-star hotels and night clubs thrown in for good measure.

The route is not without its challenges, perfectly encapsulated by the aphorism of the French philosopher Jean Paul Sartre: “hell is other people”.

On the Marina Walk Ride, people come in all shapes, sizes and nationalities.

Families of ten who have to hold hands across the full width of the track and seem unable to hear the feeble ding-a-ling of my handlebar bell.

Groups of tourists who stop suddenly en masse to take a selfie with the stunning skyscraper backdrop of the Marina in the background.

Little people – aka children – whose movements are so utterly unpredictable that you cannot possibly work a way past without the risk of bowling one of them over, or at least scaring them with a close call that gets their parents all angry and shouting.

Dogs too are in this unpredictable category, especially ones on long thin leashes that you simply cannot see. Is that Labrador on the left joined to that person on the right? Can I go through that gap without garroting the mutt?

A special hell is other people on bikes. The convention to pass on the right is either ignored, or rendered meaningless by a last minute swerve to drop an urgent delivery of pizza.

But top of the list of walkway hazards are the people on e-scooters. The resentment I have towards them knows no bounds, as they glide silently and effortlessly past me as I’m puffing along towards the end of the trail.

The sight I dread most is the father and young son on a scooter approaching me at a collision speed of perhaps 30km/h. Please, dad, don’t pick now to give the kid his first e-driving lesson.

There are occasional collisions, and sometimes the Marina authorities react by making cyclists walk their bikes along the busiest stretches, though they are never serious and the restrictions are usually ignored.

But these hazards only add to the fun of the Marina Walk Bike Ride. It’s the only way to exercise.

Frank Kane is Editor-at-Large of AGBI and an award-winning business journalist. He acts as a consultant to the Ministry of Energy of Saudi Arabia and is a media adviser to First Abu Dhabi Bank of the UAE